By Dr Attia Anwar
In a famous study at Howard University for long-term well-being, the best predictor of who would grow into a healthy and happy old person was found. That was not their cholesterol or blood pressure but how satisfied they were with their relationships. The message that was delivered was that having strong social connections and good relationships keeps us healthier and happier as we go through life. What are meaningful social connections? They are healthy relationships with friends, family members, colleagues, or community members where you feel seen and heard. They can change with time but their importance is not reduced.
Studies have shown that there is a link between strong social connections and increased chances of longevity, less inflammation, and faster recoveries from diseases. When you are more connected to others your chances of anxiety and depression are less. Our mammal brain is hard-wired for connections. Relationships and meaningful social connections make us feel safe. Human beings are inherently social creatures. As far as we can trace back, people have thrived in social groups. The reason was that humans who were separated from social groups had to face serious consequences like starvation and death. When we genuinely connect to others happy hormone oxytocin is released. It gives us a feeling of happiness and reduces our anxiety and stress in the long term. Healthy relationships are essential for a healthy and fulfilling life. In this day and age when living alone is possible, the importance of social connectedness has increased in this isolated world. But we usually ignore this area of well-being or are unable to cope with the stress of keeping relationships and making new ones. As relationships can become messy and complicated. So sometimes to avoid inconvenience and stress in our busy lives we do not try. Due to circumstances of life like raising children, and moving to another place you lose connections with old friends and you do not try to make new ones. However, it is proven scientifically that these efforts are worth it. It is the investment that has the highest return rate in terms of happiness. Social connections are a basic human need. They create a sense of belonging, purpose, and identity. They boost your self-esteem and confidence and increase your resilience in the face of challenges. They improve our quality of life and boost our mental health. They help us live longer. This means that they have an impact on our physical health also. Individual with strong social connections has 50 percent increased chances of survival in case of disease or other adversity. It decreases the risk of suicide.
Happiness is a product of our pursuit. So if we pursue those things that make life worth living, we will get them. Chris Peterson founder of positive psychology said. “Other people matter. Anything that builds relationships between and among people is going to make you happy”. Although physical connections are important, sometimes it is not necessary to be physically present in the literal sense. The subjective experience of a person to feel connected and understood matters a lot. Usually, experts use this feeling for the analysis of well-being.
How can we cultivate meaningful relationships requires effort. We should be proactive, rather than other people reaching out to you, you can start from your side. Take an interest in other people’s life with genuine good intentions. Show people that you can be trusted and be vulnerable by trusting others. You can achieve these goals by joining some club, doing some sports, volunteering for social causes, attending social gatherings, and simply going for a walk and chatting with neighbors. It is never too late to make new friends or to connect with old ones. If you are not sure how you can start. First, see inside yourself. What are your interests? What kind of people make you comfortable to be around? If you meet a potential friend try to spend time with him. Very strong lifelong connections can start with a coffee or meal shared together. Trying to make a bond with a stranger can feel scary. But it is important to take that risk if you want to make new friends. Sometimes these new relationships can change the course of your life.
Research has linked chronic loneliness with an increased risk of dementia, cognitive decline, immunity issues, and heart disease. It contributes to a shorter life span. It also affects your performance as an individual and as a team player. Ultimately loneliness lowers your quality of life and produces lesser satisfaction. Social isolation can affect anyone. It can be a teenager connected to social media but not connected to society in general. A young mother trying to find her place among peers or a person with a physical disability, who is inhibited by inaccessibility. Or it may be a grandfather living alone after the death of his partner. Making social connections can be sometimes hard due to circumstances. For example, if your health is not good, you are having financial problems, or living alone. Simple checking out on others who matter can help to solve the problem. Healthy social connections should be taught to children at an early age. Parents should model healthy connections and relationships for their children. They should encourage their children to have healthy and diverse relationships with peers and talk about the negative influence of peer pressure.
Social isolation is an issue in all societies and all religions across the world. Thinking that this is the problem of only old people in some rich community is false.it is affecting people of all age groups young and old. There is a power in connection. In recent years there have been a lot of interventions to decrease social isolation and increase the sense of belonging. From community-based to individual therapy to make friends is generating increased awareness. We can address this issue and it is an opportunity to redefine and reimagine ourselves how we connect with those around us. World Health Organization has established a commission for social connection. It shows its importance for our health and wellbeing. Let us improve our health and well-being by utilizing the power of connection to one another.
The author Dr. Attia Anwar is a consultant family physician with a postgraduate degree from the Royal College of GP UK. She is a strong advocate of health and well-being and wants patient participation in decision-making regarding health.
