By Dr. Attia Anwar
Self-care is an important part of the improvement of mental health. First of all, you should realize if you are taking care of yourself you are not being selfish. Self-care helps you refill your cup. If you don’t take care of your time and energy, it will be consumed and dry.
You cannot help others from an empty cup. It will increase bitterness in you and instead of giving people genuine help, you will increase bitterness in the universe. Self-care may seem a fancy word in this age of burnout and constant anxiety. This burnout also proves its critical nature and need. It is a regular intentional process backed by science to prioritize your needs and not just feel good self-indulgent behavior.
World Health Organization has declared a global mental health emergency and defined burnout as an occupational risk. Escalating pressure to do and be everything at work and home is creating an environment that breeds exhaustion, overstimulation, fatigue, and angst. Most people find it luxurious to take time off or rest. They think it is something superficial and selfish. When stress levels are high everything seems unachievable. And people do not know that stress is affecting them negatively unless they get sick. Self-care is a protective factor for resilience. We can have a “universal precaution” approach toward well-being as we do to protect ourselves from infections in medical care. Even if we think we are doing fairly well, we should prioritize self-care in advance rather than waiting for red flags to happen
You may have many roles in life in which you have to take care of others, you may be a mother of your children whom you have to care for, or you have to care for someone as a responsibility that life thrusts upon you, as somebody very close to you is debilitated and depends on you for basic needs. You should always know that we cannot serve others from our empty cups. You have to rejuvenate first to help others. You have to take care of yourself on your own and be useful to others. Otherwise, you will need care from others after a certain time because you will be exhausted. It is like when you are flying in a plane and you get the instructions to secure your oxygen mask first in case of emergency. If you do not secure your oxygen mask first in case of emergency you will create another causality and burden for others. So there is one person who is completely under your circle of influence, and it is okay if you help that one person in your entire life and that is you. We all want to help others but there should be a balance between caring for yourself and caring for others.
Research has proven if you raise your children with the idea that you have to sacrifice your needs and life for them. It is not healthy for your children and you. Children feel obligated to do certain things. Raising children should come from a fulfilled heart and purely with a sense of love and enjoyment. Your routine may change a little but it should not be giving up your whole life. If you take care of yourself along with your kids, then having children and raising them will be pure joy for you and your children.
What does self-care mean? Mostly self-care is prioritizing yourself and giving yourself time. Everyone has a different idea of self-care. For some people proper morning routine is self-care for some it is an afternoon of solitude having a cup of coffee. It can be a long shower, a workout, or a long or short walk. Even it can be your favorite hobby like cooking, painting, or reading a favorite book. It can be simply being yourself doing nothing or meditation. Lifestyle changes in a healthy way like good sleep, nutrition, hydration, and exercise are part of self-care Getting some alone time and breathing a little especially when things are stressful helps you to increase your quality of work afterward. Talking to a close friend is also a form of self-care. If you have meaningful connections and communicate or vent when you feel overwhelmed. This is good for your mental health. You should also realize, that sometimes it is okay to say no. Instead of being resentful after doing certain things for others, it is better to refuse altogether. Learning to say no is a great art for your well-being. Spending time in nature and with your pets also makes you healthy. It gives you some alone time to rethink, prioritize, and recharge. Lastly unplugging you from news and social media for a while is good. It will decrease your cortisol level by reducing your exposure to stressful news. After all these things you feel rejuvenated and ready for the tasks and responsibility of your life.
Another aspect of self-care is being kind to yourself, dropping words of comfort on yourself, and forgiving yourself. In this way, you will become enough for yourself and able to hold your own heart. This idea of self-soothing saves you from destructive or numbing behavior when something bad happens. Nobody can be perfect in taking care of others. Mistakes happen and it is important to free yourself from guilt. If you always blame yourself for not being enough, it will lead to a lot of behavioral problems. It is important to quieten your inner toxic critic and practice self-compassion. Finding time for activities that are fun and make you relax is good. Activities in which you get lost in time and space and enjoy the moment. If you make a big plan you may altogether abandon it due to lack of time and energy. One way to do that is to start with small self-soothing activities regularly. Self-care comes in different sizes and shapes and there is no generalized formula.
It is very important to make yourself a priority, even if so much is expected from you. It is good for your mental health and the mental health of people around you. You cannot fake your feeling for a long time and so people around you will also be affected. This is the way you can break the cycle of generational trauma, by taking care of yourself and loving others genuinely.
The author Dr. Attia Anwar is a consultant family physician with a postgraduate degree from the Royal College of GP UK. She is a strong advocate of health and well-being and wants patient participation in decision-making regarding health.
